My "Safety Cheeses"
Crowd pleasers for your holiday party boards
It’s the most wonderful time of the year, folks. That means holiday parties.
You may be throwing a little shindig yourself — and one of the easiest ways to entertain is with a cheese board.
Throw the cheeses on a board an hour or two before your party starts and you’re good to go.
BONUS: you feel fancy and people will love it.
Check out my post with pro tips for making a cheese board here.
You may be wondering what cheeses you should put on a party board for a group of people with varying tastes.
I’ve got you covered.
Here is my Christmas gift to you, dear reader — my list of “Safety Cheeses”. Universal crowd pleasers discovered through nearly two decades of selling cheese.1
I’ve made this list friendly to high rollers and those on a budget. Many can be found in a grocery store with a good cheese section.
I’d love to see your holiday boards in the comments!
My Safety Cheeses
Cheddar — I don’t think I need to explain this one. Here are a few of my faves that have excellent flavor and texture.
Cellars at Jasper Hill Cabot Clothbound Cheddar —Pasteurized cow, Vermont —Traditionally crafted cheddar aged for 9-14 months, with rich, nutty flavors and pleasant crystallization. Cheddar for gourmands.
Ivy’s Reserve Vintage Cheddar — Pasteurized cow, England — Sustainably made cheddar from the UK. Aged for up to 18 months, this excellent cheddar has classic flavors and delicate crystals. BONUS: it’s reasonably priced. People come by the shop every week for their chunk of Ivy’s. Available at Costco.
Unexpected Cheddar — This incredible cheddar for the price can be found at Trader Joe’s2.
Gouda — Everybody loves a good gouda. It’s right there in the name. Goudas can be rich and creamy, or hard aged with a crystal structure. All share a subtle sweetness, nuttiness, and crowd pleasing deliciousness.
Point Reyes Aged Gouda — Pasteurized cow, California — Aged for 10 months, this gouda is nutty, rich, and creamy, with a semi-firm texture. I put this stunner on a lot of boards at the shop and it’s always a hit.
Honey Bee — Pasteurized goat, Holland — Another semi-firm gouda, folks come back to the shop for it again and again. Aging tends to mellow out and sweeten the flavor of goat’s milk — and Honey Bee gets its name because the cheesemakers add a touch of honey. It’s a conversation starter because people “can’t believe this is goat cheese!”
Beemster XO — Pasteurized cow, Holland — Aged for 26 months, this bright orange gouda has a deliciously crunchy crystal structure and extremely firm texture. I’ve been selling Beemster XO to people since I started in cheese. It’s a classic.
Alpine — The word Alpine refers to a style — that of the Alps, made from the milk of cows who have eaten mountain grasses — turned into a big wheel meant to last all winter. Some people call them “Swiss cheese”, though not all have holes. This is my secret favorite kind of cheese. I don’t know what it is — maybe the creamy, rich nuttiness, or the hint of bitterness on the finish. Gimme.
Cellars at Jasper Hill Alpha Tolman — Raw cow, Vermont — Beefy, creamy, decadent. Firm until it starts melting in your mouth. If French Onion soup were cheese, this would be it. I could eat Alpha Tolman by the pound.
Challerhocker — Raw cow, Switzerland — This was the Alpine cheese that made me obsessed with this style. I actually have the tee shirt. Rich, nutty, and complex with a delicate crystal structure, people will love saying the cheese’s name as much as they love the cheese itself.
Gruyere — Raw cow, Switzerland
Comte — Raw cow, France
Emmentaler — Raw cow, Switzerland
All of these cheeses bring their own personality to the party while conforming to the general style of Alpine cheeses. Alpine vertical tasting? I’m crazy enough about these cheeses to do it.
Semi-firm Sheep’s Milk — This might sound weird, but trust me on this. Sheep cheeses are less intense than goat cheeses with a pleasing nutty flavor. They’re also an opportunity to put a different milk on your board. Everyone will be curious, and all but the pickiest eaters will enjoy it.
Ossau Iraty — Pasteurized sheep, France — Big flavors compliment the creamy paste. Easily our best seller in the shop. I have to keep a backup wheel at all times or my boss will yell at me.
Cypress Grove Lamb Chopper — Pasteurized sheep, Holland — An easy-going, flavorful cheese with a funny name. Made in Holland for the creamery behind Humboldt Fog.
Abbaye de Belloc — Pasteurized sheep, France — This semi-firm sheep cheese made me fall in love with semi-firm sheep cheese. This delightful, nutty treasure from France’s Basque region was my first “safety cheese.”
Bloomy Rind — Everyone loves a rich and decadent “brie style” cheese at the holidays. It’s luxury on a plate. I wrote a little ode to these cheeses in a recent newsletter.
Four Fat Fowl St. Stephen — Pasteurized cow, New York — Like cheese and butter had a baby. I’d have a back up wheel if I were you.
St. Andre — Pasteurized cow, France — Creamy and delicious. Can be found at most grocery stores with a cheese section.
Fromager d’Affinois — Pasteurized cow, France — My first love in bloomy cheeses. I thought I was so badass the first time I put it on a bagel.
Blue — Both of these blues are creamy AF and mild in flavor. “Blues for people who don’t like blue cheese.”
Hooks Blue Paradise — Pasteurized cow, Wisconsin — This is technically a double creme cheese as it contains 60% milkfat. It’s approachable yet full of flavor. I put some out for our tasting at the shop on Saturday and sold almost half a wheel. So many people saying “I don’t normally like blue cheese, but…”
Gorgonzola Cremificato or Gorgonzola Dolce — Pasteurized cow, Italy — Rich and creamy with subtle blue flavor.
Fresh and Light — These fresh cheeses make your life easy and people love them.
Meredith Dairy Marinated Sheep and Goat Cheese — Pasteurized, Australia — About as far from America as it gets, but I can’t argue with success. I sell this mix of olive oil marinated fresh sheep and goat cheese by the truckload. It was the family favorite when I took it to Tennessee last summer. Dump the jar in a bowl with the oil (which makes an excellent dip for bread) and you’re all set.
Nettle Meadow Farm Fromage Frais — Pasteurized, New York State — These little buckets of spreadable deliciousness are made with a blend of fresh goat and cow’s milk cheese — subtly flavored with high end ingredients. The milk blend gives you the best of both worlds: the tanginess of goat’s milk is tempered by rich and buttery cow’s milk— and the flavors are fresh and natural. I’m not normally one for flavored cheeses, but I’ve had both the Cranberry and Fig and Honey — they’re eat-with-a-spoon wonderful. Take the lid off the cup of cheese, put it on the board and enjoy.
If you can’t find my specific cheese recommendations at your cheese shop, use my categories as guidelines. Let the monger show you their favorites!
Ask me any questions — or let me know which cheeses you try — in the comments!
I’d like to welcome my new subscribers with an obligatory cat pic.
Meet the unbearably handsome Mr. Kitty.
He loves laundry day.
I’m thinking of doing a subscriber chat next week to answer holiday cheese questions. Would any of you be interested? Let me know in the comments!
Curd Culture is a reader supported publication. Thank you for supporting my dream of using my cheese experience to make a difference on two issues I care about: sustainable family farming and animal welfare.
Maybe not universal, we all have that friend or family member who hates pizza, puppies, and apple pie.
It should surprise no one that Trader Joe’s has an awesome el cheapo cheese section.
Swiss and Jarlsberg are my favorites. Closely followed by a good sharp cheddar.